Lately it seems that I have had a lot going on in my life and have felt quite overwhelmed…yet I don’t feel very busy and have tons of help and support; it’s such a strange feeling! I have been going through a lot of changes such as adjusting to my adventurous life of being a new mom, moving back home, Adam’s deployment to Iraq, and getting used to staying home all day without a job or even some homework to do. Some of these changes are wonderful and life changing, while others are quite the opposite.
I have such an enormous support system in my family and all of the women in my life are extremely eager to babysit from just an hour while I run to the store or take a shower to one of my aunts even staying overnight and taking care of Alaina so that I could try to sleep through the night. The help has been wonderful and I am so grateful to everyone… plus, I think it has made being a mother a little easier on me seeing different women interact with a baby in a variety of ways… I definitely know now that nothing is off limits as long as that baby is comfortable and happy! There are no rules to parenting!!!
I am still trying to adjust to the recent and seemingly sudden move from North Carolina to Michigan, which only occurred about four weeks ago, but seems like at least a couple of months. Every time I move back home I realize how much I actually did love that condo in NC and miss all of the great and few friends we have down there! I am happy to be home in Michigan, but it is never the same without Adam. But it will get better as time goes on and we just have to keep reminding ourselves that this is the last deployment we will ever have to go through.
I am thrilled to have finally obtained my Bachelor’s of Science in Human Services Management… school is over and currently I’m not working. This is fun and freeing in its own ways, but at the same time I kind of feel like my brain is melting. I try to relax during the day when I am home with Alaina, but I feel anxiety at times for some reason and have a feeling that there are other things I should be doing, but really there are not.
On top of everything, Adam’s truck was parked in the street on Saturday night and was struck by another vehicle while parked. I woke up to the sound of someone pounding on the front door and ringing the door bell… that is always scary and the last time this happened was when I was in North Carolina and Adam’s motorcycle had been stolen. I answered the door at 5am to an older couple who claim to have hit Adam’s truck. The man said his wife had been driving around 3:30am and hit the back of the truck. Who is even out at 3:30 in the morning anyway? (Some neighbors claim to have seen two teenage boys trying to start the car after they heard the crash and then running away when it wouldn’t start). They were very nice though and we exchanged information. They said they wanted to pay us in cash for the damages and did not want to involve the police if at all possible. I was so caught off guard on what was supposed to be my peaceful night of sleep while my Aunt Vicki stayed the night, that I said ok and went back to sleep. In the morning we realized just how bad the damage was and called the gentleman to come back over to look at it… since he still insisted on paying out of pocket for the damages and he still did! Today I took the truck in for an estimate and am very interested to see how expensive it will be. It was so weird though because when the truck was moved into the street during a vehicle rearrange in the driveway I tried to make a mental note to move it back later because I had a bad feeling it would be hit and that was one less thing I wanted to deal with… but obviously, I forgot! We have had two other vehicles hit in a similar spot before… go figure. O’well, what’s done is done and it will all get taken care of.
Once again I am reminded of how difficult times can be in the life of an Army wife during the time of a deployment… even if you have been through it before. But, I am also reminded that although I may not be the happiest and most energetic person on Earth everyday and that to others I may seem down or depressed at times… I am getting through. I am a very strong individual and now I have a beautiful daughter to take care of and build wonderful memories with and those times will be all I remember later in life.